Excuses

Ever forget to complete an assignment? Meet Adam and read his lyrical excuse. 

Excuses

By Aviva Haber

Sixteen-year old Adam sat in the farthest seat in the back of the classroom hoping he would melt into the floor so that his English teacher, Mr. Cohen, would forget about the book report on Israel that was due that day. But, of course, his red mop was visible in any crowd. Man, he couldn’t wait to be old enough to dye his hair. He’d go blonde! No, too close to his own hair color. He wanted to look different. Oooh! He’d dye his hair black! Yeah! And maybe the others would finally start noticing him. Then he remembered learning in halacha that it was against the Torah for a man to dye his hair. Well, he’d just have to cut it really short and hope his personality, not his appearance, would attract friends.

“Adam Friedman,” called his teacher. “Adam, I believe you have a book report due today. Why don’t you come up to the front of class to present it?”

Adam slowly rose out of his seat and walked with what he hoped was a confident, or at least innocent, expression on his face. He needed to improvise. Fast! What were some cool books he read recently? Ugh…. He needed it to be about Israel. Why couldn’t he think of anything?! Oh! He just finished a really cool book about the world ending. What was it called?

Reaching the front of the classroom, he remembered. It was a novel called “The Last Battle,” by C.S. Lewis.

Standing to face the class, he said. “My book report is on ‘The Last Battle,’ by C.S. Lewis. It’s about the end of the world. It teaches us an important lesson about life. In the book, there is a special place called Narnia. This land is comparable to Israel because it is a safe haven for all to go, especially those who are different. I believe that the Jews are different and we are like the kids in the book who traveled to a separate time and place before they found their calling in life. They didn’t belong in this world, the secular world, just like us. This is my report.”

Making up the lyrics on the spot, he began…

“Excuses”

The rooster didn’t crow
So I was late
The plants didn’t grow
So I ain’t sate
The clouds turned grey,
It was going to rain
The sun went away,
What a pain
The skies turned red,
So I couldn’t see
The animals dropped dead,
My mom overfed me
The earth started to quake,
And I got sick
The ground stared to shake,
My clock didn’t tick
My house caught on fire,
And burned to the ground
The results were dire,
No remnants were found
So teacher, you see,
It’s the end of the world today
Why bother doing my homework anyway?

His teacher was not impressed.

Okay, he was a little impressed, because it was obvious Adam was making up the poem as he went, and he would talk to him about developing his talent another time. But for now…

“Detention!”air max 90 essential china

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

You May Also Like

Stay in Touch

Subscribe to stay up to date about our latest posts, writing competitions and Fresh Ink news

Close Menu